City of Bones - prevaricating and suppurating

Image from Goodreads

Title: City of Bones

Author: Cassandra Clare

Series: Mortal Instruments

Rating: 1.5/5

I've finally finished City of Bones and my opinion is unchanged - it really is not that much. Cassandra Clare really needed a better editor, and Professor Snape to hit her over the head when she was writing something silly/stupid/implausible.

The plot actually has potential, sort of , if only she had limited herself to a couple of mythological creatures - and not ALL OF THEM. Perhaps in the books that come later Clare gets better at character development and everything, but here she should have stuck to what she knows how to do - there is no shame in choosing 2 or 3 creatures and sticking with them. Of, course she did not do that and we are left with strange half-written characters.

Once Clare had decided she needed to write about every mythological creature ever thought of (except for zombies, they, of course, don't exist, don't be stupid) her well of originality must have run out, so the main characters are so typical that one can almost guess their next statement. The main character (Clary) is a 14 year-old teenager who is oblivious to her own beauty, does not realize her best friend is in love with her, is clumsy, and forgetful of the things and people around her (I should have made a note of how many times she had forgotten about Simon and the fact that her mother is missing). Her best friend is of course a glasses-wearing geek who loves her to bits but doesn't have the guts to tell her that. The love interest of Clary is Jace - a blond, excuse me, TAWNY teenager, with mad demon-killing skills, witty tongue; he also plays the piano, and incidentally, it is discovered at the end of the book, is Clary's brother. Another unpredictable twist in the  tale - Clary, it seems, is the daughter of the main bad d00d - Valentine. I am proud to say, I called it after reading the first 6 or 7 chapters. The sibling bond between Jace and Clary is sure to disappear in the following books - I doubt this turns out to be an incest story. So, until then we have to wonder - will they or won't they ;)

As for the "bad d00ds" element, Clare has no choice but to "borrow" from Christianity

Valentine's last name is of course Morgenstern - morning star - just like Lucifer (and Jesus). Naming the "fallen" Shadowhunter this she just plays on the reader's knowledge of Christianity (and possibly other religions), and of course she doesn't want to risk her readers not knowing this so she has Valentine spell it our for us. How kind of her. Maybe she is using this as a type of a pre-determination element - Valentine could not but raise against the impurities that threatened the system he believed in.  It seems that she is convinced that the main bad guy in a book needs to have a symbolic name (like Voldemort, Darth Vader....). Bad guys don't need symbolism to be bad, even in fantasy! Also - his first name - Valentine, seriously?

Valentine's circle of course has their own motto - what kind of a elitist group would they be if they didn't - and of course, to be a respected group set on ruling the world the motto should be in Latin: In Hoc Signo Vinces.

Here Clare again show us her originality by simply taking the motto that by legend belonged to Emperor Constantine's army (and some other army groups, schools, .... there's even a Nazi-inspired political manifesto of that name).

Now, the Major OhMyGod moment when Clary finds out that Jace (the guy she's been fawning over since chapter 2 or 3) is her brother is another shining example of how fantastically this woman is unable to write convincing character behaviour. So, Clary, as a hormonal teenager (who does have some fighter's blood in her) reacts to finding out that the guy she fancies and the guy she's kissed and stuff is her brother by "crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest". Really? REALLY? How about - incredulity, anger, hormonal outburst... something, anything and not this anemic response.

All in all a very poor excuse for fantasy. What follows are some of the fun parts of the book :)

More of Clare's literary pearls (for part one of the pearls check out part one of this review):

"In the half-light the big empty room they passed through on their way to the roof looked as deserted as stage sets, the white-draped furniture looming up out of the dimness like icebergs through fog." - advice: don't use two complete different similes in one sentence when describing the same space. It only makes you look desperate and silly.

"He came soon after, but I hid from him, as werewolves can." and of course there is no explanation of this werewolves-specific hiding technique.

"Glasses pushed down to the bridge of his nose." - here we could presume Clare doesn't know basic names for things. I as a non-native speaker did check this out, and it turns out that the bridge of the nose is where glasses usually stand. So, if Luke pushed them "down", I am forced to ask myself down from where?

"She'd dressed for the hospital in a black pleated skirt, pink lip gloss, and a vintage sailor-collared blouse" - so, lip gloss is now clothing? I'll let L'Oreal know.

"Duh" moments:

• "She had rolled onto her side and was lying half-in and half-out of a puddle of filthy water." - half-in AND half-out, you don't say!
• "Savoring the rich savory-salt taste of the pork" - rock on! way to use your thesaurus!
• "howling a high animal howl"

Inexplicable moments

• "Only Jace, Clary thought, could look cool in pajama bottoms and an old T-shirt, but he pulled it off, probably through sheer force of will."
• "Her face felt like one big bruise, her arms, aching and stinging, like raw meat."
• she "flung a surprised-looking Isabelle’s hand back at her" - ha? detachable extremities, cool.
• "The marble itself was a pure, ashy ivory, hard and polished-looking, inset in places with narrow strips of onyx, jasper, and jade." - marble was ivory inlaid with onyx, jasper and jade? niiiiice
• "He reached out a fastidious booted toe and shoved Luke" - fastidious booted toe?

- I, much like Cas and my reading buddy, was confused by these pearls.

And in the end the award for the use of "word of the day" is shared by two words: prevarications and suppurating.

Now, all joking aside - I might bitch and moan about books like these, but I secretly love them, and there are several reasons why:

1. I can bitch and moan about them, they make me write long reviews like this one
2. they make me laugh
3. they re-build my faith in my own writing - hell, if she can publish, so can I
4. they make me laugh (worth mentioning again)
5. provide good ranting material for my book-buddy and me

so, until next time.

Why Amazon Sucks

This will not be a long post, nor will it be about books (no, not even ordering books via Amazon because there are better book-selling sites out there). This post will shortly state why Amazon sucks.

1. Amazon sucks because MANY things one wants to order "cannot be shipped to the selected address." I was hoping that once Croatia entered the EU at least some of the things that weren't shippable would become shippable. But, that of course did not happen. I mean, why in God's name is tea not available for shipping to Croatia? If it's because it's foodstuff, then why is clothes on the "usnhippable" list as well? Why? Because Amazon sucks, that's why.



2. And the second reason Amazon sucks is that some of those things that are shippable to Croatia come with astronomical shipping costs that sometimes are not stated correctly on the order page. A couple of weeks ago I ordered two items and the total cost was a little under 20 Euro. I was ok with that, but imagine my surprise when my credit card showed that the total spent on Amazon that day was a little over 36 Euro. THIRTY-SIX! So the first thing I did was to check if I had made a screw up (that has been know to happen), but I did not. So I calmly waited to see what the hell happened, and the explanation came in a very thin envelope - I ordered some mobile phone screen protection foils - cost of product under 2 Euro, cost of delivery 19 Euro. Really? 19 Euro to send one small envelope weighing maybe 20 grams from Germany to Croatia? Really?

So, my conclusion is, Amazon sucks.

There are no faults here

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Reading this was like being on a roller-coaster, but not a simple roller-coaster! There were actually two! First one is the roller-coaster of emotions because of the events in the book: you can be crying your eyes out on one page and on the next page you'll be rolling around laughing so hard you inhale whatever you happen to be drinking at the time.
TIP 1 when reading TFIOS - Don't drink anything while reading this!
TIP 2 when reading TFIOS - If you are a person who cries while reading but hates crying in front of other people, avoid reading this book in public.

The second roller-coaster you are on while reading this is the emotions you have towards the author! Honest to God, I switched from hating to loving John Green so many times that I think even the universe felt it! I kept arguing with the book (not a good thing to do when in a cafe surrounded by people).
TIP 3 when reading TFIOS - if you're the sort of reader who is really affected by the book they are reading and are likely to argue with the said book while reading it and would like to preserve the reputation of yourself as a sane person - you might think about reading this book in the provacy of your room. Just saying.

All in all, this is an amazing cancer book that is not about cancer, and a love story that is more than a love story. This book will break your heart, it will strengthen you, it will make all the muscles in your body ache from all the laughing, and it will show you that you can embrace your hamartia because that is who you are.



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City of Bones - Cassandra Clare

Mid reading update for City of Bones
I am having so many issues with this book that it sometimes literally makes me vocalize my rage by screaming and yelling at the screen of my SonyReader. These are just some of the questions I have directed at the black letters of this book
1) WHY, oh in God's name WHY does this author hate consistency in writing style? As soon as my bookclub partner and I saw that the book opened with a quote from Milton AND Shakespeare we were cautious. Our caution payed off. (She does continue to put warning quotations later on - Virgil, IN LATIN!)
The majority of the book so far has been written in a primary school "Writing course" style (not to put down any children or teenager writers, but you know what I mean. It's like reading that set essay "Autumn in my City" that all schoolchildren dread).
Then, just to spice things up she drops in an "intellectual" sounding word that you need a dictionary to find out what it means. And this is done for no stylistic reason whatsoever because these words stick out like a sore thumb. My friend called it "I used the dictionary" moment, whereas I am convinced the author has that "Word a Day" calendar and has decided to use those words no matter what!
In other situations the complete opposite thing happens. The narrator is perfectly capable of naming all the weapons in the weapons room ("The weapons room looked exactly the way something called “the weapons room” sounded like it would look." - REALLY?! You don't say) but she does not know what a leather bag filled with arrows is called (yes, all of you who checked Google or read Lord of the Rings know that it's a quiver).
 In addition to the vocabulary problems, this woman really does not know how to compose sentences that make sense (read again the quote about the weapons room). Another sparkling example of her inability write is this "But more importantly... And more importantly that that..." - uuuuuuu way to go! F. Scott Fitzgerald would be proud of this! Also "Her knees felt like bags of water." Could someone explain this to me, please.
And, to finish off her paragraphs and flow of thought is so all over the place that I would have failed her in my writing class were she one of my students.
 2) the characters! Where do I begin with the characters?
Perhaps with the bland Clary (Obviously and ego boost nickname for the author) who very often makes the reader scream in exasperation with her scattered thoughts and her "I hate her" attitude towards the good looking Isabella (yes, you guessed it, she hates Isabella even though she doesn't know her. My guess is Clary hates her because her friend Simon has a crush on her.) On the other hand, that is one of the rare age appropriate character traits in this book, so perhaps I should not criticize this.
 Then we have Jace. The good-looking, piano-playing, demon-hunting, charming, angsty, past-scarred artisticsoul bent on justice (not revenge) against the guys who murdered his father. Those of you who have read Twilight series: remember how Edward was always Adonis-like; well Jace is all tawny - hair, eyes... My and my reading partner did wonder if perhaps his nether regions (winkwink) are also tawny. Don't think we'll find out, but if we do, I'll let you know.
 Other characters are just as badly written as these two.
 I think this is it for now.
If there's more, I'll update.

Waging Humanitarian War: The Ethics, Law, and Politics of Humanitarian Intervention by Eric Heinze
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

In addition to being extremely repetitive, this book has one major problem, and that is that it never even mentions the "willingness" of states to intervene. In a book that deals with Humanitarian Intervention, even though he limits himself to ethical, legal and political aspects, is unforgivable.
Another tiny problem is that the last part of the book, entitled "Conclusion" has a segment entitled "Conclusion". This returns us to the problem of his repeating himself all the time.
All in all a poor work.

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Annabel - Kathleen Winter

Annabel by Kathleen Winter
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A very difficult book. The theme it deals with makes it a bit difficult to read in one go, or fast in any case.
But all in all a good book.

"Why would any of us break from the herd? Break, apart, separate, these are hard words. The only reason any of us would become one, and not part of the herd, is if she was lost."

"How much of his body image was accurate and how much was a construct he had come to believe? He tried to see his body objectively."

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Rudyard Kipling - White Man's Burden

TAKE up the White Man’s burden - 
Send forth the best ye breed - 
Go bind your sons to exile
To serve your captives’ need;
To wait in heavy harness
On fluttered folk and wild -
Your new-caught sullen peoples,
Half devil and half child.
Take up the White Man’s burden - 
In patience to abide
To veil the threat of terror
And check the show of pride;
By open speech and simple,
An hundred times made plain,
To seek another’s profit,
And work another’s gain.

Take up the White Man’s burden -
The savage wars of peace -
Fill full the mouth of famine
And bid the sickness cease; 
And when your goal is nearest
The end for others sought,
Watch Sloth and heathen Folly
Bring all your hopes to nought.

Take up the White Man’s burden -
No tawdry rule of kings, 
But toil of serf and sweeper - 
The tale of common things. 
The ports ye shall not enter, 
The roads ye shall not tread, 
Go make them with your living, 
And mark them with your dead !

Take up the White Man’s burden -
And reap his old reward, 
The blame of those ye better, 
The hate of those ye guard - 
The cry of hosts ye humour 
(Ah slowly !) towards the light:- 
“Why brought ye us from bondage, 
“Our loved Egyptian night ?”

Take up the White Man’s burden -
Ye dare not stoop to less - 
Nor call too loud on Freedom 
To cloak your weariness; 
By all ye cry or whisper, 
By all ye leave or do, 
The silent sullen peoples 
Shall weigh your Gods and you.

Take up the White Man’s burden -
Have done with childish days - 
The lightly proffered laurel, 
The easy, ungrudged praise. 
Comes now, to search your manhood 
Through all the thankless years, 
Cold-edged with dear-bought wisdom, 
The judgement of your peers.

”

Incompetency of people in the publishing business

The Use of Force in Humanitarian Intervention: Morality and Practicalities by John Janzekovic


Why will I never read this book:
The first two pages of chapter 2 of this book contain so many grammatical errors that even a person who is not a GramamrNazi would be angry.
here are some examples:

1)
"Other important considerations such as; risk...."
- this is not a situation where one uses a semicolon! there should be a colon, or even nothing at all!

2)
"The CDR and the Impuzamugambi orchestrated a violent campaign against any Hutus who supporting the sharing of power with the Tutsi-dominated rebel RPF."
- Really?! This is a subordinate clause standing on its own! Oh God, either finish the thought or put the right form of the verb in the sentence!

There is a reason why publishers use editors and other staff! This should not happen and the publisher in question should be ashamed to put this on the market.
As an English major I am constantly disappointed by the fact that, even though there are hundreds of unemployed English majors, publishers obviously give the job of checking the language of books to people who really don't know what they are doing.




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Research is really getting to me

So
in the past couple of weeks I've been doing research for my MA thesis - "Humanitarian Interventions in the last 20 years - Where it all went wrong?"
and I've come across some very interesting things, and some very hilarious things too
one of the best ones being "[they] were creative with the truth"
talk about beating around the bush!

and now, while reading about the NATO intervention in Kosovo I come across a sentence that goes like this:
" [Rugova's] idea that they (the Kosovar) would be rewarded for their good behaviour by Western countries had been just plain wrong." (all this before the intervention)

Well, first off - What? that surprised you? Western states forgetting about the small players! What else is knew in the world?
and the second question I would ask myself (and at this late hour, my asking was in the form of colouring that passage with a colouring pen very firmly with three interrobangs next to it) would be - Why Wait for the West? and WHO, I repeat again WHO gave the West the right, the legitimacy to dispense with "gifts" like the independence!
this makes even more sense when you realize that the accords that came AFTER the intervention Serbia ended up with a better deal than in the plans of accords the West attempted them to sign BEFORE the intervention?

Who else, besides me, is completely not caught off guard by this sequence of events?